Friends of Friends and Privacy on Facebook (More Internet Safety)

Recently, I've received a spate of friend requests from people I don't know. Never met them, not even once. Not someone I knew in college or in high school. Total strangers. How could this be? My privacy settings limit strangers to seeing only my name and photo on my timeline.I can't imagine that total strangers swoon over my picture and decide they just have to know me. Yes, they may come across me in other ways: I do have a Facebook badge on my website, The School and Home Library and when I Google myself, I get about 77,000 results. After reading about me or something I have created on the Web, they may be overcome with a desire to know me; however, I think this is unlikely.

Here's what's really going on: I'm receiving friend requests from friends of my friends (even though my privacy is set to friends only). When I've researched the names, I've discovered that I've already seen them on Facebook. They've posted comments on my friends' posts and photos. They've been tagged in some of the same photos in which I've been tagged. And I guess they're just wanting to expand their circle of friends, enlarge their community. After all, a friend of my friend has the potential to be my friend as well.

So here's the thing: When we post, comment, and tag, we forget  that many people will see what we have put in Facebook. Even if our privacy is set to friends only, friends of our friends will see our info when our friends comment on our posts or we comment on theirs.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. It's just a reminder, and a reminder we should share with our children, that once we post something online, whether its to Facebook, a blog, wiki, or whatever, we no longer have any control over it. We cannot control who sees, shares, copies, pastes, saves, or re-posts it. And we can never take it back. The moral of the story: Think very carefully before posting or commenting on Facebook. You never know who might see it. Share this with your children and teach them the critical thinking skills they need to understand how Facebook and the Internet work.

To learn more, order a copy of book:  Internet Safety for Homeschoolers: A Family Approach by posting a comment to this page.

Children belong to the Collective: My Thoughts

Two days ago, I posted  MSNBC's promo video in which Melissa Harris-Perry states that children belong not to their parents or families, but to whole communities. For many of us, her statements are eerily reminiscent of Hillary Clinton's claim that it "takes a village" to raise a child. These ideas are not new among liberals; what's new is that Harris-Perry is speaking specifically about education. She suggests that once we break through  "the private idea that children belong to their parents," America will make better investments in education. Homeschoolers, parents who have chosen to invest considerable time and energy in their children's education, rightly find statements such as these disturbing.

Having recently completed a Master's degree in library and information science with certification in school media, I can personally attest to the fact that schools of education are rife with the left-wing ideology that leads to radical ideas like Harris-Perry's. In order to be certified, I was required to take a number of education classes in which the following were taught:

• Social Justice theory: Developed by John Rawls in the 1970s, Social Justice theory is based on a concept of fairness in which all members of a society work together to ensure equal access to all rights and liberties by exposing and ending the inequalities of race, class, gender, and ethnicity. Society must guarantee access to education, employment, unemployment benefits, and health insurance. The focus must be on helping the disadvantaged because they are the most in need. While this sounds reasonable, the end result is not equal access or equal opportunity, but equal outcomes: the belief that everyone must have the same--that we must "level the playing field" and "redistribute the wealth". As you can see, Social Justice theory forms the underpinning of President Obama's policies and initiatives.
• Critical theory: Critical theory is focused on questioning and analyzing the assumptions that underlie society, assumptions related to social identities such as race, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and nationality. Critical theory has its roots in Marxism and German philosophy and is concerned with  ideas of dominance and power. How does one group gain economic or political power over another group? How does one group enslave another? Valid questions; however, when the theory is applied to education, we end up with a revisionist history of the United States, a focus on multiculturalism and diversity at the expense of intellectual rigor and academic achievement, and outlandish policies like allowing transgendered individuals to use the restrooms of their chosen gender.
• Communitarianism: This is basically a long word that means placing the well-being of the community above the well-being of the individual. The belief is that when the individual works for the well-being of the community (rather than for themselves or the their families), economic and political problems will be mitigated. When the community is healthy, successful, and well-cared for, so is the individual. Unfortunately, this flies in the face of American values like individual responsibility and initiative. Such an emphasis on the community can result in majority rule--which means that the minority is oppressed in favor of the larger community.

In most of my classes, I was in the minority in that I was one of the few who questioned these ideas and how these ideas are applied to education. Most of my classmates accepted these philosophies, whether to earn favor with the professor or because they were true believes, I cannot say. Regardless, the people in my graduate classes were either already teachers or preparing to become teachers. They either had or would have enormous influence over the children in their classrooms--children who would accept whatever their teachers said.

How do Harris-Perry's comments apply to homeschooling? Most homeschoolers watch and listen with trepidation to calls for increased regulation of homeschools and homeschool curricula. Harris-Perry is not the first to suggest that the government has an interest in educating future citizens. I often feel this is the crux of the socialization question. Homeschoolers typically interpret questions about "socialization" to mean providing opportunities for their children to socialize with their same-aged peers. Perhaps what the questions is really about is socializing our children to be servants of the state who don't think critically about the government's policies and laws.

The Home School Legal Defense Association has cautioned for years against the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child which not only does not mention parental rights, but also subverts the role of the parent to that of the state. Currently, HSLDA is supporting the Romeike family's quest for asylum. The Romeike's are German homeschoolers who faced fines, threats of imprisonment, and the loss of their children simply for educating their children at home. The Romeikes were granted asylum by the United States, but it has been revoked. Is the United States response to this family an indication of the administration's view of homeschooling in general? I am quite fearful it is.

Addendum
Yesterday, Harris-Perry issued a statement  in which she claims her Lean Forwoard promo was an "uncontroversial comment on my desire for Americans to see children as everyone’s responsibility." She provided numerous examples of people in the community who all help children: volunteers, coaches, teachers, crossing guards. In her post she wrote:

I believe wholeheartedly, and without apology, that we have a collective responsibility to the children of our communities even if we did not conceive and bear them. Of course, parents can and should raise their children with their own values. But they should be able to do so in a community that provides safe places to play, quality food to eat, terrific schools to attend, and economic opportunities to support them. No individual household can do that alone. We have to build that world together.

 This I can agree with, but this is not what she said in her Lean Forward video. Ms. Harris-Perry is a very intelligent, highly-educated woman who teaches at the college level and is an author and tele-journalist. She knows how to use language to its best effect. She was not speaking off-the-cuff. Her comments were not extemporaneous. The promo spot was carefully scripted and passed editorial and marketing muster. When she said children belong to communities, she said what she meant and meant what she said. Don't be fooled by her apologetic.

Very Scary: How Those in the Education Establishment View Your Children

Every homeschool family needs to be aware of this. Every American family needs to be aware of this!

According to Melissa Harris-Perry, professor, author, MSNBC television host, and political commentator, your children do not belong to you. They belong to the collective, and once we get past the notion that parents or families own their children, America will be better able to fund and improve education.




Learn more about Harris-Perry here: http://tv.msnbc.com/bios/melissa-harris-perry/#discussions

More on Instagram and Keeping Kids Safe

Here's a follow up to yesterday's post about Instagram:

Getting to Know Instagram--Links to Bring Adults Up to Speed

This short post by Marti Weston identifies information sources re: Instagram and reminds parents that the minimum age for this social network (like Facebook) is 13.

Internet Safety: Parents, Are You Paying Attention?

During the past several weeks, I've been trying to sell my new booklet Internet Safety for Homeschoolers: A Family Approach at homeschool conferences, to homeschool groups, online, and by word of mouth. The results have been somewhat discouraging. At first, I thought is was a lack of interest, then I thought it was a lack of concern. Parents would say things like

• "I let my daughter use my iPad in the car to keep her busy" 
• "Everybody is on Facebook. What's the harm?"
• "My kid has a smart phone, but he just uses it to call me and his friends"

Now, I thinks its lack of awareness.

Handheld devices have become ubiquitous. Everybody has them: smart phones, iPhones, tablets, ereaders, game systems. Many kids I know own more than one device and carry at least one with them all the time. So nobody pays attention to how they are being used. Parents don't worry so much about predators, but nor do they think about the digital activities that engage their children. Most parents assume their kids know more about technology than they (the parents) do, so they don't realize their own important role in teaching their kids how to participate online.

Here's a great article published earlier this week in the Huffington Post: Beauty is only skin deep, but Instagram is to the bone. The author, Hollee Actman Becker explores how tweens are using Instagram, a photo social networking service owned by Facebook, to hold beauty contests. Becker raises important questions about parents' responsibilities that are all answered in my booklet.

The number one risk factor for kids getting into trouble online is a conflictual relationship with parents, followed by lack of parental involvement. Parents, we are our children's best protection online. Educate yourselves about what your kids are doing. Get involved. Teach your children that your family's faith and values are just as applicable online as they are offline. Don't just hand them the iPhone or tablet. Teach them what it means to be a responsible person in the digital world.

For more information about my booklet, leave a comment to this post, and I will get in touch with you.

Homeschool conventions and conferences: Is this the way we want to go?

I recently attended a homeschool convention and had a wonderful time networking with other homeschool  families and discovering acquaintances from my area who are considering homeschooling . It was fun to catch up with people, share experiences, and both give and receive tips and fresh ideas. There is nothing like a good homeschool conference to re-invigorate, stimulate, and motivate! Nevertheless, I came away feeling somewhat saddened and disappointed.

When I first started homeschooling a short six years ago, homeschool conventions were about homeschoolers helping and educating each other based on their experiences and knowledge. Most conference sessions were presented by homeschool parents or graduates who shared advice, encouragement, techniques, ideas, methods, and approaches. I loved these seminars! Not only did I learn much that I could use, I also received much needed affirmation: Yes! I can do this, too! The presenters were parents, just like me. If they can successfully homeschool their children, so can I.

Over the years, however, I've noticed a change: more sessions and seminars are presented by professional vendors who briefly present some aspect of learning theory and immediately launch into an infomercial on their product. Too often, these presenters are not homeschool parents who have created a business based on their experience and expertise, but corporations who have identified homeschoolers as a potentially lucrative market. While the increased availability of resources and materials is wonderful (I love visiting the vendor booths in the exhibit hall), I sorely miss the more personal, less commercial learning from and with my peers. At the last convention I attended, I felt more like a mark than a friend or colleague.

Further, I am bothered by what seems to be the cynical and manipulative use of scripture and prayer by commercial vendors in their presentations. Even though I am Jewish, I don't mind when homeschoolers include Bible verse or prayer in their presentations. It is a  natural outgrowth of the presenters' faith, family life, and home practice. It is genuine and real. I am perfectly fine with Christian companies like Sonlight and Apologia making an affirmation of faith.  However, when companies that lack a Christian mission include scripture, it feels perfunctory, tangential, and forced. My impression is that Bible quotes and prayer are included because vendors believe this will help sell their product to homeschoolers--most of whom are Christian. I would much rather these vendors focus on the value of their product than mislead us with false statements of faith.

New book: Internet Safety for Homeschoolers: A Family Approach

I am happy to announce the release of my self-published book, written with Dr. Virginia Wallace: Internet Safety for Homeschoolers: A Family Approach.

Keeping their children safe on the Internet continues to be a concern for many parents. Many worry about predation (sexual solicitation), exposure to inappropriate content (pornography), cyberbullying, and sexting.This short booklet takes a clear-eyed look at these risks and proposes a common sense, rational approach  based on the best research and family values. Topics covered include:

Who is at Risk?
How Great is the Risk?
Adolescent Development in the Internet Age
The Internet as a Private, Public Space
The Nature of the Internet
Parenting Online
Common Sense Rules
When Rules are Broken
Teaching Internet Safety Basics
     Phishing
     Spoofing
     Spam
     Usernames and Passwords
     Linking Accounts
     Creating Accounts on Commercial Websites
     Browser Settings
     WiFi
     Mobile Apps
Building Your Child’s Online Identity
Kid-Friendly Browsers, Search Engines, Filters, and Services
Tips for Tweens
Tips for Teens

If you are interested in obtaining a copy of Internet Safety for Homeschoolers: A Family Approach, contact me at whitneylibrary@comcast.net

About the authors:

Whitney Husid, MLIS, PsyD

Dr. Husid is a homeschooling mom with a master’s degree in library and information science and a doctorate in clinical psychology. She is co-author of Collaborating for Inquiry-based Learning: School Librarians and Teachers Partner for Student Achievement and has published numerous articles in school library journals.

Virginia L. Wallace, MLIS, EdD

Dr. Wallace, formerly a professor of the School of Library and Information Science at the University of South Carolina, has a master’s degree in library and information science and a doctorate in instructional technology and distance education. She is the author of School News Shows: Video Productions with a Focus and coauthor of Collaborating for Inquiry-based Learning: School Librarians and Teachers Partner for Student Achievement. She has published numerous articles in school library journals, presented at international conferences, and provided leadership and training as a library ambassador to the former Soviet Union.